Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
