So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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