I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
These tits shall not be calmed
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
