i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize