she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
