I'm so fucking centered right now
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
