Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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