I have demons in me.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm like, not good at living.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
