im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
