I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
