Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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