well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
