shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
