Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
