I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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