perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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