You can't special order awesome
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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