Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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