to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
