This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Houston, we have a squirter
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
