just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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