dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
