Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
