yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
