i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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