I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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