when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
