i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
