I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize