yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
