omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
