with your own penis?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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