He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
