i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
