pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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