walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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