My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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