If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
