that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
