After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
