Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I could fuck to npr.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I currently don't understand fingers.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
