he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
