just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
