I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
