fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
