handjob tips. give me some.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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