I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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