Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize