Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
