somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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