i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
