Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
