She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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