I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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