Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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