Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Randomize
