Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
