saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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