She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize