the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
