Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
