Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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