let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize