Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
This is my gift to your gina
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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