She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
