I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
