he shaved USA in his pubs
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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