Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize