xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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