...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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