Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Damn victory sex feels great
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize