Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
