Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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