He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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